Wondering where you stand in a relationship can be emotionally draining. Many people experience uncertainty about how their partner truly feels—and now, new research suggests that simply perceiving a partner’s emotional ambivalence can negatively affect personal and relationship well-being.
A new study by Mirna Đurić and colleagues, published in Emotion (2025), explores how the perception that a romantic partner feels both positively and negatively toward you—known as subjective ambivalence—can influence emotional health and relationship satisfaction.
Across three studies involving over 1,100 individuals and couples in the United States, United Kingdom, and the Netherlands, the researchers found that perceiving a partner’s ambivalence was consistently associated with lower relationship satisfaction, greater stress and anxiety, and increased thoughts about ending the relationship.
Ambivalence in relationships refers to feeling conflicted—holding both positive and negative evaluations of a partner simultaneously.
While prior research has examined how ambivalence affects the person experiencing these mixed feelings, less was known about how it affects the person on the receiving end.
This study aimed to fill that gap by investigating the consequences of perceiving a partner’s ambivalence rather than directly experiencing it.
The research team conducted three methodologically distinct studies.
The first involved a cross-sectional survey of individuals in long-term relationships, the second used a daily diary method over 10 days with young adults, and the third tracked couples over a year using intake sessions, daily diaries, and follow-up surveys.
In all three studies, participants were asked how much they believed their partner had mixed feelings about them, as well as questions about their mood, stress levels, life satisfaction, and relationship dynamics.
The main finding was clear: people who perceived their partner as emotionally ambivalent reported lower personal well-being and more strain in their relationship.
These associations held even after accounting for their own feelings of ambivalence and their evaluation of their partner, suggesting that the perception of a partner’s conflicting emotions plays a unique and harmful role.
What explains this link?
The researchers found two key mechanisms: unpredictability and reduced understanding. When someone senses that their partner is emotionally conflicted, they may find it harder to anticipate how that partner will behave or respond in emotional situations.
This sense of unpredictability can make relationships feel unstable. Additionally, it becomes more difficult to understand the partner’s needs and intentions when their feelings appear inconsistent.
These psychological disruptions—feeling unsure of what to expect and struggling to understand the other person—contributed to lower well-being across the board.
These findings have real-world relevance. Romantic relationships often involve navigating both closeness and conflict, and mixed emotions are common.
But if someone frequently feels that their partner is uncertain or ambivalent about them, it may erode their sense of security in the relationship.
The study highlights how emotional clarity and perceived consistency in a partner’s feelings can play a crucial role in fostering healthy, satisfying connections.
For everyday relationships, this suggests that how we interpret our partner’s feelings can be just as important as what those feelings actually are.
A partner may not intend to send mixed signals, but if their behavior is perceived as inconsistent or conflicted, it can still take a toll. Communication that reduces ambiguity—and reassures the partner of one’s care and commitment—may help buffer against these effects.
The researchers note several limitations. Since the studies relied primarily on self-report data, the results may be influenced by individual differences in perception or response styles.
The data were also drawn largely from Western countries, which may limit the generalizability of the findings to cultures with different norms around emotional expression.
In addition, while the associations are strong, the studies are correlational, meaning causality cannot be definitively established.
Future research could explore whether certain individuals—such as those high in anxiety or low in trust—are more sensitive to perceived partner ambivalence, or whether interventions that improve communication and emotional clarity might reduce its negative effects.
Still, the research offers valuable insights: perceiving your partner as emotionally conflicted may do more than just cause relationship doubts—it may also affect your own emotional stability.
For those striving to maintain healthy relationships, clarity and consistency in emotional expression may be just as important as affection itself.
Citation
Đurić, M., Righetti, F., Zoppolat, G., Solleiro Saura, C., & Schneider, I. K. (2025). Loves me, loves me not: Perceived romantic partner’s ambivalence is associated with lower personal and relationship well-being. Emotion, 25(5), 1225–1243. https://doi.org/10.1037/emo0001493
