When complimenting a guy, it’s important to be genuine and specific, focusing on qualities beyond just physical appearance. Compliments should also make the other person feel seen, heard, and valued.
The key to complimenting a guy is to do it with authenticity, sincerity, and a focus on his unique qualities.
When you pay attention to who he is and what he values, your compliments will be both meaningful and well-received.
Remember, a genuine compliment can truly make someone’s day.
1. Be Authentic
Authenticity, at its heart, means that your words are a true reflection of what you actually think and feel.
It’s about aligning your inner world with your outer expression.
When you do that, your compliments carry a weight that empty platitudes simply cannot achieve. When you are genuine, you are more likely to really make the other person feel seen.
The most important thing is to be genuine. Don’t offer compliments you don’t mean, as it’ll come across as disingenuous.
Let your sincerity shine through, and your words will have a much greater impact. A spontaneous compliment feels much more authentic than a planned one.
It shows that your admiration is real and in the moment, not something you’ve thought about at length.
It’s all well and good to give a compliment, but your body language and the way you look at him can elevate the authenticity of that compliment to the next level.
Make sure to show him through your eyes, your smile and your body language that your words are genuine.
2. Be Specific
A general compliment doesn’t show a man that you are paying attention to him and appreciate his unique qualities.
When you are specific, it demonstrates that you have noticed something particular about him or his actions and that you value him for it.
General compliments can come across as generic and insincere.
They can feel like something you would say to anyone, rather than something that is specific to him and your unique connection with him.
- Compliment his efforts: If he puts effort into his appearance, acknowledge that.
Instead of simply saying, “You look nice,” you could say, “I love the way you styled your hair today, it really suits you,” or “That colour shirt looks great on you.” - Highlight his encouragement and support: When he is supportive of your goals and dreams, tell him how it makes you feel.
For example, “I appreciate how you encourage me,” or “I feel so supported when I talk to you”.
This shows that you value his perspective and that his actions positively impact you. - Notice details: Notice specific things about him, like a unique item of clothing or something he mentioned in conversation. This makes the compliment more personal.
3. Focus on How He Makes You Feel
- Highlight his positive influence: Focus on how he makes you feel when you are with him.
For example, instead of saying “you’re so smart,” try “I feel so understood when I talk to you”.
This can make him feel valued, and it will show that you appreciate his positive impact on you. - Be specific about his actions: Rather than making general statements, try to be as specific as you can about what he does that makes you feel a certain way.
For example, instead of “you’re a good guy”, you could say, “I really appreciate how you checked in on me earlier” or “It was so thoughtful of you to bring me coffee this morning”. - Express the peace he brings: If he makes you feel calm, secure, or at peace, tell him that.
For instance, you could say, “I feel so at peace when I’m with you” or “Being around you is so refreshing”.
Men often desire to be a woman’s peace, so this can be very meaningfu - Emphasize emotional safety: When you feel safe and comfortable sharing your feelings, let him know, as it can show him that he is creating a safe space for you to be vulnerable.
For example, you might say, “I feel like I can be myself around you.
4. Flirting through Compliments
- Use subtle flirtation: You can use compliments to flirt, but do it in a way that doesn’t feel like ‘all or nothing’.
A good approach is to make it slightly indirect.
For example, “I like your style,” is a good way to flirt without making it too personal. - Tease playfully: You can use humor and gentle teasing to create a fun and light-hearted connection.
For instance, you could say “Wow, you must be the office superstar with all that talent” if they mention something about their work.
Pay attention to how he receives your compliment. Does he seem genuinely pleased, or a bit uncomfortable?
If it seems the latter, maybe lighten up on the compliments for a bit. Remember, it’s about making him feel good, not putting him on the spot.
How to Phrase Compliments
- Be direct: If you like a guy, be straightforward. You could say, “I think you’re really cute. Here’s my number. I’d love for you to give me a call”.
- Use “I” statements: When expressing feelings, use “I feel” statements to describe your emotions, not judgements.
- Make it lighthearted and fun: Keep the tone of your compliments playful, fun, and light.
Understanding Nuances
First, let’s acknowledge that men, just like women, can be sensitive about how they’re perceived.
There’s a lot of pressure on them to appear strong and self-assured, so a compliment that feels like it’s coming from a place of insecurity or neediness can be off-putting.
- The ‘Predatory Fear’: Men are sometimes concerned with not coming across as predatory. If a compliment seems too intense or focused on their physical attributes, it might trigger this fear.
- Fragile Masculinity: Many men feel like they constantly need to prove their masculinity. Compliments can sometimes make them feel like they are being evaluated or measured.
- Internal States: Male sexuality, like female sexuality, is influenced by their internal states, such as self-esteem, stress, and body image. If a man is feeling insecure about his appearance, a compliment might not land as intended, or, if it is too much, it may be seen as disingenuous.
Things to Avoid
- Don’t Make it a Demand: Be careful not to give compliments that feel like a demand for reciprocity. Compliments should be freely given, not a transaction where you expect him to immediately reciprocate.
- Avoid Overdoing it: Try not to shower him with too many compliments, especially at the beginning of a relationship. It can feel overwhelming and could make him wonder about your motives. A genuine compliment here and there is much more effective than a constant stream.
- Don’t Compare: Never compare him to other men, either positively or negatively. A compliment should make him feel uniquely valued, not like he’s being measured against someone else.
- Compliments With an Agenda: If your compliment is aimed at getting something in return, that’s not genuine, that’s manipulation.
- Overly Sexual Comments: Avoid comments that are too suggestive or objectifying, especially early on. Keep it classy and focus on their overall attractiveness, not just their body.
