Autism can significantly impact romantic relationships due to differences in social communication, emotional understanding, and sensory needs.
Autistic individuals may struggle with expressing affection, interpreting their partner’s emotions, and managing sensory stimuli, which can lead to misunderstandings and frustration. Non-autistic partners may feel unfulfilled or disconnected from their autistic partner.
Understanding the factors that contribute to relationship satisfaction in couples where one partner is autistic is crucial for supporting these unique partnerships.
Yew, R. Y., Hooley, M., & Stokes, M. A. (2023). Factors of relationship satisfaction for autistic and non-autistic partners in long-term relationships. Autism, 27(8), 2348-2360. https://doi.org/10.1177/13623613231160244
Key Points
- Autistic individuals in long-term relationships reported higher levels of social loneliness and lower scores on personality traits compared to non-autistic partners, yet also reported greater sexual satisfaction, relationship satisfaction, and perceived partner responsiveness.
- Partner responsiveness was the most significant predictor of relationship satisfaction for both autistic and non-autistic individuals in long-term relationships, uniquely accounting for 23% of the variance.
- Factors previously identified as barriers to relationship satisfaction, such as personality traits, social skills, and sexual satisfaction, were not significantly associated with relationship satisfaction in this sample of long-term relationships.
- The research provides new insights into the experience of long-term relationships for autistic individuals, but has limitations in terms of sample size and diversity that impact the generalizability of the findings.
Rationale
Existing research indicates that autistic individuals express similar levels of interest in romantic relationships as non-autistic individuals (Hancock et al., 2019; Strunz et al., 2017) but are less likely to be involved in one (Renty & Roeyers, 2006) and report shorter relationships (Hancock et al., 2019) and lower relationship satisfaction (Barneveld et al., 2014) compared to non-autistic peers.
Romantic relationships are associated with better mental health, physical health, and quality of life in both autistic and non-autistic populations (Braithwaite & Holt-Lunstad, 2017; Mason et al., 2018; Proulx et al., 2007).
However, research on factors contributing to relationship satisfaction in autism has focused primarily on the characteristics of the autistic individual as barriers (Yew et al., 2021), overlooking the role of their partners.
This study aimed to address this gap by investigating a range of factors, including intra- and interpersonal characteristics of both autistic and non-autistic partners, and their association with long-term relationship satisfaction.
Method
Procedure
This study used an online survey to collect data from autistic adults and non-autistic adults currently or previously in long-term relationships (12+ months) with autistic individuals.
Participants answered demographic questions and completed measures on personality traits, social loneliness, communication skills, partner responsiveness, sexual satisfaction, and relationship satisfaction.
Sample
The sample included 95 autistic adults (aged 18+) and 65 non-autistic adults currently or previously in long-term relationships with autistic individuals.
Participants were 37.44 years old on average and primarily female, cisgender, heterosexual, and White.
Relationship durations ranged from 12 months to 53 years.
Measures
Measures included:
- Autism diagnosis: This was confirmed by participants’ self-reported formal diagnosis and scores of 32 or higher on the Autism Spectrum Quotient (AQ), which measures autistic traits.
- Ten-Item Personality Inventory (TIPI): This brief inventory measures the Big Five personality traits of extraversion, agreeableness, conscientiousness, emotional stability, and openness to experience.
- UCLA Loneliness Scale Version 3: This 20-item scale measures subjective feelings of social isolation and loneliness.
- AQ communication and social skill subscales: These subscales of the AQ measure difficulties with communication and social interaction that are characteristic of autism.
- Perceived Partner Responsiveness Scale (PPRS): This 18-item scale assesses the extent to which individuals feel understood, validated, and cared for by their romantic partners.
- New Sexual Satisfaction Scale-Short Version (NSSS-S): This 12-item scale measures satisfaction with various dimensions of one’s sex life.
- 7-item Dyadic Adjustment Scale (DAS-7): This short form of the DAS measures overall relationship satisfaction, encompassing agreement between partners, engaging in activities together, and expressed affection.
Statistical Measures
A hierarchical multiple regression analysis was conducted with relationship satisfaction as the outcome variable.
Age and autism diagnosis were included as covariates.
Predictors were entered based on their variability across the lifespan.
Results
The hypotheses and corresponding results were:
- Higher levels of agreeableness, conscientiousness, extraversion, openness, and emotional stability would predict higher relationship satisfaction for both autistic and non-autistic individuals. Result: None of the Big Five personality traits significantly predicted relationship satisfaction.
- Better social skills, lower social loneliness, and better communication skills would predict higher relationship satisfaction for both groups. Result: Social skills, social loneliness, and communication skills were not significantly associated with relationship satisfaction.
- Greater partner support and higher sexual satisfaction would predict higher relationship satisfaction for both groups. Result: Partner responsiveness significantly predicted relationship satisfaction, uniquely accounting for 23% of the variance. Sexual satisfaction was not a significant predictor.
Insight
This study provides valuable new insights into the experience of long-term romantic relationships for autistic individuals and their non-autistic partners.
Contrary to previous research, autistic participants reported greater sexual satisfaction, relationship satisfaction, and perceived partner responsiveness compared to their non-autistic partners, despite also reporting higher social loneliness and lower scores on personality traits.
One key finding was that partner responsiveness was the most significant predictor of relationship satisfaction for both autistic and non-autistic individuals.
This suggests that feeling understood, validated, and cared for by one’s partner is more important for relationship satisfaction than individual characteristics like personality or social skills.
Interestingly, factors previously identified as barriers to relationship satisfaction, such as personality traits, social skills, communication skills, and sexual satisfaction, were not significantly associated with relationship satisfaction in this sample.
This could be because the long-term nature of the relationships studied reflects the partners’ ability to overcome potential barriers, or because partners are open to accommodating the needs of their autistic partner.
Future research should explore the specific qualities and behaviors that contribute to responsive partnerships, as well as how couples work to overcome challenges.
Studying couples in which both partners are autistic could also shed light on unique relationship dynamics and strengths.
Strengths
The study had many methodological strengths, including:
- Recruiting both autistic and non-autistic partners, allowing for comparisons between the two groups
- Focusing specifically on individuals in long-term relationships, providing insights into factors that contribute to relationship longevity and satisfaction
- Assessing a wide range of potential factors associated with relationship satisfaction, spanning individual traits and relationship dynamics
- Using well-validated measures
- Controlling for age and autism diagnosis in the regression analysis
Limitations
The study has several limitations that impact the generalizability of the findings:
- Small sample size, particularly for non-autistic partners, limiting statistical power
- Lack of diversity in the sample (primarily female, White, cisgender, heterosexual)
- Potential sampling bias from recruiting non-autistic partners primarily from support groups
- Cross-sectional design prevents causal inferences
- Limited data on the diagnostic status of autistic participants’ partners
Researchers should aim to recruit larger and more diverse samples, gather data on the diagnostic status of both partners, and use longitudinal designs to track relationship satisfaction over time.
Qualitative studies could also provide richer insights into couples’ lived experiences.
Implications
The results have significant implications for supporting autistic individuals and their partners in maintaining satisfying long-term relationships.
The finding that partner responsiveness was the strongest predictor of relationship satisfaction suggests that interventions should focus on helping couples build understanding, validation, and care for each other.
Service providers working with couples could assist them in identifying each other’s needs and how to meet them effectively. Relationship education programs could incorporate training in expressing appreciation, respect, and affection.
Rather than viewing autism-related traits as inherent barriers to relationship satisfaction, the findings suggest that with mutual effort, understanding, and responsiveness, these couples can maintain fulfilling partnerships.
This strengths-based perspective aligns with the neurodiversity paradigm and shifts the focus away from trying to change the autistic partner.
However, the higher social loneliness and lower partner responsiveness reported by non-autistic partners points to the unique challenges they may face in building responsive partnerships with autistic individuals. Tailored support and resources for non-autistic partners are needed.
Additional research is necessary to understand how factors like disability severity, comorbid mental health conditions, LGBTQIA+ identities, and cultural background intersect with autism in shaping relationship experiences.
Studies should also examine relationship satisfaction and longevity in couples where both partners are autistic.
References
Primary reference
Yew, R. Y., Hooley, M., & Stokes, M. A. (2023). Factors of relationship satisfaction for autistic and non-autistic partners in long-term relationships. Autism, 27(8), 2348-2360. https://doi.org/10.1177/13623613231160244
Other references
Barneveld, P. S., Swaab, H., Fagel, S., van Engeland, H., & de Sonneville, L. M. J. (2014). Quality of life: A case-controlled long-term follow-up study, comparing young high-functioning adults with autism spectrum disorders with adults with other psychiatric disorders diagnosed in childhood. Comprehensive Psychiatry, 55(2), 302–310. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.comppsych.2013.08.001
Braithwaite, S. R., & Holt-Lunstad, J. (2017). Romantic relationships and mental health. Current Opinion in Psychology, 13, 120-125. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.copsyc.2016.04.001
Hancock, G., Stokes, M. A., & Mesibov, G. (2019). Differences in romantic relationship experiences for individuals with an autism spectrum disorder. Sexuality and Disability, 38, 231–245. https://doi.org/10.1007/s11195-019-09573-8
Mason, D., McConachie, H., Garland, D., Petrou, A., Rodgers, J., & Parr, J. R. (2018). Predictors of quality of life for autistic adults. Autism Research, 11(7), 1138–1147. https://doi.org/10.1002/aur.1965
Proulx, C. M., Helms, H. M., & Buehler, C. (2007). Marital quality and personal well-being: A meta-analysis. Journal of Marriage and Family, 69(3), 576–593. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1741-3737.2007.00393.x
Renty, J., & Roeyers, H. (2006). Quality of life in high-functioning adults with autism spectrum disorder: The predictive value of disability and support characteristics. Autism, 10(5), 511–524. https://doi.org/10.1177/1362361306066604
Strunz, S., Schermuck, C., Ballerstein, S., Ahlers, C. J., Dziobek, I., & Roepke, S. (2017). Romantic relationships and relationship satisfaction among adults with Asperger syndrome and high-functioning autism. Journal of Clinical Psychology, 73(1), 113–125. https://doi.org/10.1002/jclp.22319
Yew, R. Y., Samuel, P., Hooley, M., Mesibov, G. B., & Stokes, M. A. (2021). A systematic review of romantic relationship initiation and maintenance factors in autism. Personal Relationships, 28(4), 777–802. https://doi.org/10.1111/pere.12397
Keep Learning
Suggested Socratic questions for a college class discussion of this paper:
- How do the findings challenge assumptions about the barriers to satisfying relationships for autistic individuals? What strengths and positive qualities of autistic individuals and their partners are highlighted?
- Why might partner responsiveness be especially important for relationship satisfaction in long-term relationships involving autistic individuals? What specific responsive behaviors or qualities do you think contribute to satisfaction?
- The study found that non-autistic partners reported lower partner responsiveness compared to their autistic partners. What unique challenges might non-autistic partners face in feeling understood, validated, and cared for in these relationships?
- How can the findings inform relationship education and support services for autistic individuals and their partners? What should be the key targets of intervention?
- The study aligns with the neurodiversity paradigm, which views autism as a natural form of human diversity rather than a disorder to be cured. How does this perspective shift the narrative around autism and romantic relationships? What are the implications for research and practice?
- The study had a relatively small and homogeneous sample. How might factors like gender identity, sexual orientation, race/ethnicity, co-occurring disabilities, and age impact the relationship experiences of autistic individuals? What additional research is needed to capture this diversity?
