When Waiting Feels Unbearable, We Chase Clues

Imagine you’ve finished a job interview. The handshake was firm, the smile polite.

Days pass. Your inbox stays silent.

You check your email again. And again.

Even when you know results won’t arrive until next week, you still find yourself searching for signals – any sign that might soothe the gnawing uncertainty.

We’ve all been there: waiting for medical results, exam scores, or election outcomes.

This psychological “waiting room” is one of the hardest places for the human mind to sit still.

A Window Into Stressful Waiting

Researchers followed three groups caught in high-stakes waiting games:

• U.S. voters before the 2020 election.
• Law graduates awaiting California bar exam results.
• Academic job seekers during their long search.

These longitudinal studies tracked people across weeks and months to see how their levels of worry shaped their behavior – specifically whether they sought out or avoided information while waiting for news.

---

Worry Acts Like a Magnet

The data were strikingly consistent.

The more people worried, the more they chased information.

This wasn’t just a personality quirk.

Even within the same person, spikes of worry predicted spikes of frantic news-checking, polling refreshes, or job board searches.

In other words: worry pulls us toward information like a magnet pulls metal.

---

Avoidance: The Ostrich Myth

The classic metaphor of “burying your head in the sand” didn’t hold up strongly here.

People who worried more sometimes avoided updates overall – but at their most worried moments, they didn’t look away. Instead, they leaned in, eyes wide.

Avoidance was rare and weaker than expected, suggesting that when worry is sharpest, people find it almost impossible to tune out.

---

The Illusion of Control

Why does worry fuel this restless searching? The researchers argue it’s about control.

Waiting strips away agency – your test is done, your application is sent.

But seeking information gives the feeling of doing something, even if the facts you find don’t change the outcome.

It’s like repeatedly pressing the elevator button: it doesn’t make the elevator arrive faster, but it restores a flicker of agency in the face of uncertainty.

---

Why This Matters

Stressful waiting periods are everywhere—test results, job markets, global crises.

The findings remind us that our urge to “stay informed” isn’t always about gaining knowledge – it’s about managing anxiety.

• For clinicians, this highlights a therapeutic target: helping clients distinguish between helpful monitoring (checking once) and anxiety loops (compulsive checking).
• For everyday readers, it offers a reframe: if you find yourself obsessively seeking updates, it’s not weakness – it’s your brain’s way of grasping for control.

The next time you’re stuck in life’s waiting room, remember: information can soothe, but it can also trap.

Sometimes the healthiest choice isn’t another search – it’s learning to sit with the silence.

---

So what should you do?

If you notice yourself refreshing news feeds or email obsessively, remember: it’s your brain trying to create a sense of control in an uncontrollable moment.

That’s not a flaw — it’s a survival strategy.

But when the search for information starts making you more anxious instead of less, it may help to:

• Set boundaries: Decide when you’ll check for updates (e.g., once in the morning, once in the evening).
• Redirect control: Put energy into actions you can influence — like preparing for next steps, reaching out to support networks, or engaging in grounding activities.
• Practice tolerating uncertainty: Small exercises like sitting with unanswered questions or trying mindfulness can build your “uncertainty muscle.”
• Ask yourself: “Will checking right now give me useful new information, or just fuel my worry?”

The key isn’t to stop caring or to force yourself into avoidance.

It’s to recognize that chasing information is your mind’s way of coping — and then gently shift toward strategies that soothe rather than spike your anxiety.

---