The Hidden Struggle of Indian Women With ADHD

Imagine constantly feeling like you are “too much” or “difficult,” yet struggling to accomplish tasks that seem effortless for everyone else.

You might be told to sit still, lower your voice, or just “try harder” to be organized.

For many women, this internal chaos isn’t a character flaw—it is a distinct neurobiological reality.

A recent qualitative study explored this reality by conducting deep, semi-structured interviews with Indian women diagnosed with ADHD in adulthood.

Using a method called thematic analysis, researchers examined how these women navigate a world built for neurotypical brains.

The findings reveal that for Indian women, the struggle is not just biological; it is deeply tied to cultural demands.

A Diagnosis of Validation

For decades, the medical model viewed ADHD primarily as a childhood condition affecting boys.

This gender bias means girls with inattentive symptoms—like zoning out or forgetfulness—often fly under the radar.

Participants in this study described growing up with a pervasive sense of being “not normal”.

They recalled being reprimanded for behaviors like excessive talking or daydreaming, which were viewed as discipline problems rather than symptoms.

Receiving a diagnosis in adulthood acted as a pivotal moment of validation.

It provided a scientific name for their differences, replacing labels like “stupid” or “lazy” with terms like executive dysfunction.

One participant noted that the diagnosis proved she wasn’t “wrong to exist,” but simply operating differently.

The Exhausting Act of “Cosplaying Normal”

The study highlights how cultural norms surrounding femininity exacerbate the challenges of ADHD.

In the Indian context, there is a high expectation for women to be compliant, quiet, and skilled at domestic management.

Managing a household requires intense executive function—planning, organizing, and multitasking—areas where ADHD brains often struggle.

Participants described the shame of having a messy home or struggling to cook, feeling they failed as women.

To survive, many developed a coping mechanism known as masking.

This involves suppressing natural impulses, such as fidgeting or emotional reactivity, to fit societal molds.

One woman described this effort as “cosplaying normal,” a performance that requires immense energy.

While masking allows for social belonging, it often leads to severe anxiety, exhaustion, and a loss of identity.

The pressure to be “proper” hits women harder; boys with high energy are often tolerated, while girls are restricted.

Breaking Free from the “Good Girl” Mold

The final stage of the journey involves unlearning these internalized expectations.

After years of overcompensating, the participants described a shift toward honoring their own needs and capacities.

This process, described as “embracing authenticity,” requires separating the “mask” from the true self.

It means accepting that zoning out is okay, or that they may need to learn differently than their peers.

They began to view their neurodivergence not just as a deficit, but as a source of unique strengths like creativity and resilience.

By educating themselves and finding safe spaces, these women started defining success on their own terms.

They moved from seeking external validation to building a life aligned with their reality.

Why it matters

This research underscores that ADHD is not merely a biomedical condition; it is a lived experience shaped by society.

For women, especially in cultures with rigid gender roles, the pressure to conform can mask the symptoms of neurodivergence.

Recognizing this intersectional stigma is crucial for mental health professionals to provide better support.

It reminds us that true mental health isn’t about fitting a mold, but about understanding and respecting your own mind.

Ultimately, validating these lived experiences can save women from years of silence and shame.