Perfectionism is the tendency to set unrealistically high standards for yourself or others, where self-worth feels tied to flawless performance and mistakes are seen as failures rather than opportunities to learn.
While striving for excellence can be motivating and rewarding, perfectionism goes a step further—it makes self-worth feel conditional on flawless performance.
If you’ve ever felt like nothing you do is good enough, you may relate to perfectionism. Many people experience it in school, work, relationships, or even everyday tasks.
At times, it can fuel achievement, persistence, and attention to detail. But when perfectionism becomes rigid, it can also lead to stress, procrastination, and burnout.
Understanding what perfectionism is—and how it can both help and harm—can be the first step toward creating a healthier balance.
Signs and Traits of Perfectionism
Here are some common characteristics people with perfectionistic tendencies often show:
- Overly critical inner voice – A harsh internal critic who focuses on flaws, magnifies mistakes, or ruminates over what “should have been better.” Perfectionists often evaluate themselves more on failures than achievements.
- Fear of mistakes or failure – Mistakes feel threatening, not just disappointing. Sometimes the fear of being judged prevents taking risks or starting tasks.
- Procrastination and avoidance – Ironically, the high standards themselves can lead people to delay beginning or completing tasks out of fear of not doing them perfectly. This avoidance is a way to avoid possible failure.
- Difficulty celebrating achievements – Even when success is achieved, there may be a sense that it’s not enough, or focus shifts immediately to what could have been better. Gratitude or satisfaction tends to be muted or short-lived.
- Link to self-worth – Self-esteem tends to be contingent: “If I don’t meet this standard, I’m not good enough.” Achievements are tightly tied to how one feels about themselves.
Healthy Striving vs. Maladaptive Perfectionism
Healthy striving refers to setting high yet realistic goals, seeking growth, learning from mistakes, and valuing effort. It comes with flexibility, self-compassion, and enjoying the process.
For example, someone might aim to deliver excellent work, but accept that small errors are human and use feedback to improve.
Maladaptive perfectionism, on the other hand, involves rigid standards, harsh self-criticism, and seeing anything less than perfect as failure. It often leads to fear, procrastination, frustration, or burnout.
A person with maladaptive perfectionism might avoid starting a project because they worry they can’t do it perfectly, or dismiss their successes because they didn’t meet idealized expectations.
Types of Perfectionism
Here are the three major types as defined by Hewitt & Flett, and others:
- Self-oriented perfectionism
This involves imposing high standards upon oneself. A self-oriented perfectionist expects their own performance to be flawless, feels strong internal pressure, and is very self-critical when their own efforts fall short. - Socially prescribed perfectionism
In this type, an individual believes that others expect them to be perfect, that others will judge them harshly, and that acceptance is conditional on meeting those expectations. They perceive external pressure, often real or imagined, from parents, peers, and society. - Other-oriented perfectionism
Here, the perfectionism is directed outward: the person expects perfection from others, has strict standards for how others should behave or perform, may be critical of others’ imperfections, and can become frustrated or disappointed when others don’t meet their expectations.
What Causes Perfectionism?
Perfectionism doesn’t arise from a single source but is shaped by a mix of family influences, personality traits, cultural pressures, and genetics.
Childhood Experiences
Research shows that children whose parents display perfectionism themselves or use authoritarian styles—high demands with little warmth—are more likely to develop maladaptive perfectionism (Carmo et al., 2021).
Critical feedback, praise that feels conditional on achievement, or being expected to take on adult responsibilities too early (parentification) can reinforce the idea that love and approval must be earned through flawless performance.
Personality Traits
Some people are naturally more vulnerable. Traits like conscientiousness (organization, diligence) or high sensitivity to mistakes can tip into perfectionism under pressure.
Twin studies suggest that aspects such as concern over mistakes and doubts about actions have a strong heritable component (Tozzi et al., 2004).
Cultural and Social Influences
Achievement-focused cultures and competitive school environments can amplify perfectionistic tendencies. Social media also plays a role, with curated images of success fostering constant comparison.
Young people in particular may internalize these standards, increasing socially prescribed perfectionism.
Nature and Nurture
Genetic studies estimate that 20–30% of perfectionism traits are heritable, but environment remains crucial (Iranzo-Tatay et al., 2015).
For example, socially prescribed perfectionism—believing others demand perfection—tends to be more environmentally driven, shaped by parenting, schooling, and cultural norms.
This suggests that while some people may be temperamentally inclined toward perfectionism, life experiences largely determine whether it becomes adaptive or harmful.
How Perfectionism Affects Mental Health
Perfectionism has wide-ranging effects on psychological well-being. Recent research positions it as a transdiagnostic process, meaning it contributes to several disorders rather than one specific condition (Callaghan et al., 2024).
Anxiety and Worry
Perfectionism often drives chronic worry and fear of failure.
Research has reported strong associations between socially prescribed perfectionism—feeling others expect flawless performance—and anxiety symptoms in young people.
Students in particular experience heightened stress when convinced mistakes will bring criticism (Philpot et al., 2025).
Depression and Low Mood
When self-worth is tied to achievement, setbacks may trigger hopelessness and self-blame.
Smith et al. (2020) found that perfectionistic concerns, such as fearing mistakes and social judgment, predict depression through increased stress and social disconnection.
Over time, the inability to feel “good enough” can erode resilience and mood.
Self-Esteem and Relationships
Perfectionists often experience contingent self-esteem—feeling valuable only when they succeed. This fragile sense of worth can make criticism feel devastating.
Relationships may also strain if perfectionists hold partners or friends to equally rigid standards, leading to tension or withdrawal.
OCD and Compulsions
Many people with obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) struggle with intrusive doubts about whether something has been done “just right.”
This can lead to checking, repeating, or ordering behaviors aimed at achieving a sense of perfection or preventing mistakes.
Perfectionistic concerns—such as overestimating the cost of errors or needing certainty—are known to intensify compulsive symptoms. This overlap helps explain why perfectionism is often considered a risk factor and a maintaining factor in OCD.
Eating Disorders and Burnout
Rigid standards also raise risk for eating disorders, especially when ideals around body image dominate.
Beyond this, the relentless pursuit of achievement often leads to burnout, marked by exhaustion, cynicism, and reduced motivation.
The Perfectionism–Procrastination–Paralysis Cycle
Paradoxically, fear of imperfection fuels procrastination. Tasks are delayed or avoided, increasing anxiety and guilt, sometimes leading to paralysis—being unable to act at all.
This cycle traps individuals between unrealistic standards and the fear of not meeting them.
How to Overcome Perfectionism
Recognizing Perfectionistic Thoughts and Behaviors
The first step is becoming aware of when perfectionism shows up in your thinking.
Notice times when you use “all-or-nothing” language (“everything must be perfect,” “if I fail, I’m worthless”), when mistakes feel intolerable, or when you avoid tasks because you fear you’ll do them badly.
Journaling or thought-records can help you track these patterns.
Cognitive-Behavioral Strategies (Challenging All-or-Nothing Thinking)
CBT (Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy) has strong empirical backing for reducing perfectionism.
For example, a 2024 study showed that internet-based CBT reduced perfectionistic strivings and related symptoms.
CBT may help reduce both the cognitive distortions (like unrealistic standards) and emotional consequences (anxiety, depression) tied to perfectionism.
Techniques such as re-examining your standards, considering evidence for and against your harsh self-judgments, and testing out more flexible goals are useful here.
Practicing Self-Compassion and Acceptance
Self-compassion is one of the most powerful antidotes to perfectionism.
Research by Umandap et al. (2020) showed that self-compassion training helps people high in perfectionism to cultivate kinder self-responses, reduce self-criticism, and improve psychological flexibility.
Setting Realistic, Flexible Goals
Start by breaking larger goals into smaller, manageable steps. For example, if you need to write a report, focus first on drafting an outline rather than producing the perfect final version.
Completing small steps creates momentum and reduces the overwhelming pressure to get it right all at once.
Build in room for setbacks and revisions. Remind yourself that mistakes are part of learning, not proof of failure.
You can even schedule time for review so improvement is expected rather than a sign you “did it wrong.”
Finally, practice flexible goal-setting. Ask yourself: Is this standard realistic? What would “good enough” look like?
Adjust deadlines or expectations when circumstances change, rather than clinging to rigid plans.
Tips for Everyday Life: Reframing Mistakes & Limiting Comparisons
- Reframe mistakes as learning opportunities, not proof of failure.
- Limit comparisons, especially on social media—recognize curated images are not whole stories.
- Celebrate small wins, even imperfect ones.
- Practice kindness in your self-talk: what would you say to a friend?
When to Seek Professional Support
If perfectionism is causing persistent distress, interfering with daily functioning (work, school, relationships), or contributing to depression, anxiety, or burnout, therapy may be needed.
Also consider professional help if you’ve tried self-help steps (journaling, reframing, self-compassion) over several weeks without improvement.
FAQ
1. Do perfectionists ever feel like they’ve reached perfection?
In most cases, no. Many perfectionists rarely feel they’ve truly “arrived” because perfection standards are inherently ideal and often shifting.
As noted by Dr Bonnie Zucker, perfectionists set impossibly high standards that are almost always out of reach—even if someone externally judges their work excellent, internally it may still feel flawed.
Because perfectionism tends to focus on what’s missing rather than what’s achieved, any success is often met with immediate critique or the thought: next time must be better.
2. How can I know if I am a perfectionist?
Here are some self-reflection questions you might ask yourself to see if perfectionism is part of your life:
- Do I often set impossible or extremely high standards for myself that are hard to meet?
- Do I harshly criticize myself when things don’t go perfectly, even if they’re good?
- Do I avoid starting or finishing a task because I’m afraid it won’t be perfect?
- Do I believe others expect me to be perfect, or worry a lot about judgment?
- When I achieve something, do I dismiss it or feel relief rather than pride? (i.e., it could have been better)
If you answer “yes” to several of these, it might mean perfectionism is influencing your thoughts or behaviours.
3. Is perfectionism ever a good thing?
Yes — in its healthier form, perfectionism (sometimes called “adaptive perfectionism” or “healthy striving”) can be beneficial.
When you set high but realistic goals, take pride in doing things well, and view mistakes as learning opportunities, perfectionistic traits can boost motivation, achievement, and personal growth.
The key is balance — when standards remain flexible and self-worth isn’t entirely tied to outcomes.
Resources
Centre for Clinical Interventions: What Is Perfectionism?
Perfectionism: A Double-Edged Sword
References
Carmo, C., Oliveira, D., Brás, M., & Faísca, L. (2021). The influence of parental perfectionism and parenting styles on child perfectionism. Children, 8(9), 777.
Hewitt, P. L., & Flett, G. L. (1991). Perfectionism in the self and social contexts: conceptualization, assessment, and association with psychopathology. Journal of personality and social psychology, 60(3), 456.
Iranzo-Tatay, C., Gimeno-Clemente, N., Barberá-Fons, M., Rodriguez-Campayo, M. Á., Rojo-Bofill, L., Livianos-Aldana, L., Beato-Fernandez, L., Vaz-Leal, F., & Rojo-Moreno, L. (2015). Genetic and environmental contributions to perfectionism and its common factors. Psychiatry Research, 230(3), 932-939. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.psychres.2015.11.020
Oh, S., Cha, J. H., Joo, J., Lee, J. H., Lee, Y., Lee, H. J., Yoon, D. U., & Lee, J. (2025). Efficacy of Internet-based cognitive behavioral therapy for reducing perfectionistic strivings in the Republic of Korea: A randomized controlled trial. Internet Interventions, 41, 100851. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.invent.2025.100851
Philpot, N., & Donachie, T. C. (2025). Perfectionism and psychological distress in university students: The role of mistake rumination. Personality and Individual Differences, 246, 113368. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.paid.2025.113368
Tozzi, F., Aggen, S. H., Neale, B. M., Anderson, C. B., Mazzeo, S. E., Neale, M. C., & Bulik, C. M. (2004). The structure of perfectionism: a twin study. Behavior genetics, 34(5), 483–494. https://doi.org/10.1023/B:BEGE.0000038486.47219.76
