Delayed gratification is the ability to resist an immediate reward in favor of a larger or more important reward later.
For example, it might mean skipping a night of video games to study for a degree that will pay off in the future, or saving money now to buy something expensive later.
This skill is linked to achieving long-term goals and success. However, many people with ADHD find delayed gratification uniquely challenging.
A 2024 study found that adults with ADHD had more difficulty delaying gratification and showed more impulsive buying behaviors than adults without ADHD.
In fact, the tendency to seek instant rewards was so strong that it explained a lot of the impulsive spending in ADHD.
The researchers concluded that “improving [the] capacity to defer gratification should be considered in treatment of adults with ADHD”– highlighting how central this issue is to ADHD management.
If you have ADHD and struggle to wait for rewards, you’re not alone – and there are ways to make it easier.
What Is Delayed Gratification?
Delayed gratification means choosing to wait for something better rather than enjoying a smaller reward right now.
It’s essentially “saving the best for later.” A classic example is the famous marshmallow test: a child is given one marshmallow now, or two marshmallows if they can wait 15 minutes. The ability to wait (to get two treats instead of one) shows delayed gratification.
Why does this matter? Studies show that children (and adults) who can delay gratification tend to have better outcomes in areas like school, health, and finances later on.
Waiting for a reward requires self-control, planning, and the belief that the future reward is worth the effort. It’s a valuable life skill – but it can be extra hard for those with ADHD.
Examples of Delayed Gratification Struggles in ADHD:
- Impulsive shopping:
Immediately buying something online without waiting to consider if it’s truly needed, often leading to financial stress later. - Procrastination on important tasks:
Delaying homework, work projects, or chores because short-term pleasures like social media or gaming feel better in the moment. - Binge-watching instead of sleeping:
Staying up late watching “just one more episode,” despite knowing you’ll regret feeling exhausted tomorrow. - Difficulty saving money:
Spending money on immediate pleasures like dining out or entertainment instead of saving for bigger, long-term goals. - Jumping between hobbies and projects:
Frequently starting new interests but rarely completing them as initial excitement fades, leaving many projects unfinished. - Repeatedly snoozing alarms:
Choosing immediate comfort by sleeping longer, resulting in stressful mornings due to running late or rushing. - Difficulty eating healthily:
Choosing snacks or fast food for immediate satisfaction, rather than preparing healthier meals that take more effort and planning.
“I know logically that studying for my exams will get me a degree, but when the time comes to study, I always find myself scrolling social media or playing ‘just one more’ game. The immediate dopamine wins every time.”
Why Delayed Gratification Is Extra Challenging for ADHD
For people with ADHD, “waiting for later” feels much harder than it does for others. Here are some reasons ADHD brains struggle with delayed gratification:
Impulsivity and Urgency
A core symptom of ADHD is impulsivity – acting quickly without considering future consequences. This makes it very tempting to satisfy urges immediately rather than wait.
The ADHD brain often wants instant rewards and has trouble pausing to think about the long term.
“How are people able to work for years for a payoff? It’s mind-boggling to me. I switch jobs or projects the moment I lose interest.”
Brain’s Reward System
The brain’s dopamine-based reward system in ADHD is thought to be wired to seek immediate gratification, making quick pleasures more appealing than distant ones.
Lower baseline levels of dopamine (a “feel-good” neurotransmitter) mean that an immediate reward can provide a much-needed boost, whereas a future reward doesn’t stimulate the brain now.
In simple terms, if you have ADHD, “now” just feels more rewarding than “later.”
“Time Blindness”
Many people with ADHD experience time blindness, meaning the sense of time passing is distorted. Future events can feel abstract or “out of sight, out of mind” until they’re imminent.
As ADHD expert Dr. Russell Barkley explains, for ADHD minds time is essentially split into “now” and “not now” – if something isn’t now, it’s hard to fully grasp or care about.
This makes it difficult to work for rewards that are far off; the future reward just doesn’t feel real enough to motivate action today.
(It also explains why deadlines often get attention only at the last minute, when the future literally becomes “now.”)
Executive Function Deficits
ADHD is associated with weaker executive functions – the brain’s management system for planning, organization, and self-control.
Delayed gratification is essentially an executive function task (you have to plan for later and control impulses now).
It’s harder to delay gratification when the steps to reach the future reward are unclear or overwhelming.
Working memory issues (another ADHD symptom) also mean you might literally forget the long-term goal when an attractive distraction pops up.
Emotional Regulation and Stress
In the moment, waiting can feel uncomfortable or even intolerable for someone with ADHD.
ADHD is often accompanied by low frustration tolerance – meaning it’s hard to sit with the mild frustration or boredom of not getting what you want right away.
Impulsive choices can be driven by a need for immediate relief from boredom, stress, or other emotions.
For example, after a tough day, an adult with ADHD might impulsively buy a treat or play video games for instant mood improvement, even if they planned to save money or do chores for a later benefit.
“Now” vs. “Later” Perception
Overall, people with ADHD tend to discount the value of future rewards more steeply than neurotypical folks.
Psychologists call this temporal discounting – future outcomes just don’t feel as important as whatever is happening now.
In other words, the present pleasure or pain is felt more strongly than future consequences, until those consequences are imminent.
“If a reward isn’t right in front of me, it might as well not exist for my brain. I have to literally trick myself into caring about future rewards.”
Some experts point out that everyone is facing more instant gratification these days, not just those with ADHD.
We live in a world of one-click purchases and streaming entertainment. The ADHD brain, which already craves stimulation, can be even more susceptible to these constant temptations.
Clinical psychologist Ari Tuckman quips that in the battle of “now vs. later,” modern technology heavily arms the “now” side.
Tips for Improving Delayed Gratification Skills
While delayed gratification may never feel totally natural with ADHD, you can strengthen it like a muscle.
Here are some actionable strategies and mindset shifts to help bridge the gap between instant impulses and future goals:
Set Clear, Short-Term Goals on the Way to Long-Term Goals
Big distant goals (“get fit” or “save money”) can feel too abstract to motivate action now. Break them into concrete short-term targets.
For example, instead of “I want to save money,” set a goal like “save £50 this week.”
Instead of “finish a thesis by year’s end,” focus on “write 200 words today.”
Clear mini-goals give you something immediate to aim for, creating a sense of accomplishment today.
Break Tasks into Bite-Sized Chunks
Long tasks with a big reward at the end (like completing a semester project) often lose our attention midway.
Cut tasks into smaller steps that each provide a quick win. Each time you finish a small chunk, check it off a list.
Those checkmarks and small wins give your brain a little dopamine hit of achievement, satisfying the need for immediate feedback while still moving you toward the larger reward.
Use a Reward System (Gamify It)
Don’t rely on distant rewards alone – give yourself small treats or rewards along the way.
For instance, after 25 minutes of focused work, allow a 5-minute break to enjoy a snack or a short video. Promise yourself, “After I finish this chapter, I get to play 30 minutes of my favorite game.”
By pairing work with immediate rewards, you train yourself that waiting and effort lead to something good.
Over time, you can gradually make the rewards a bit more delayed or conditional (like finishing two chapters before the reward).
Some ADHD folks turn this into a game: How long can I hold off on the treat? Challenging yourself to “beat your high score” for waiting can build your delay tolerance.
Make the Future Reward Tangible
Find ways to visualize or simulate the future payoff so it feels real now. Create a vision board with pictures of what you’re working toward (e.g. the vacation you’ll take after saving money, or the diploma you’ll earn after studying).
Use apps that track progress visually, like a thermometer that fills up as you near your goal.
For long projects, try beta-testing or sharing parts of it to get feedback (a form of intermediate reward). The idea is to pull some of that future satisfaction into the present.
One strategy is writing a letter to your future self about how great it will feel to achieve X – and reading it whenever you lose motivation, to remind your brain why waiting is worth it.
Minimize Temptation in the Moment
Set up your environment to reduce immediate temptations that derail your plans.
If you tend to impulsively grab your phone, put it in another room or use app blockers during work periods.
If junk food is your instant gratification, don’t keep a stash within arm’s reach – make it slightly harder to get.
A useful trick is to create a pause between impulse and action: for example, delete saved credit card info from shopping sites so that a spontaneous purchase requires you to manually enter details (giving you time to reconsider).
For any impulsive habit, add an extra step or friction to slow you down. This gives your thinking brain a chance to catch up and say “Do I really want to do this, or should I wait?”
Practice Mindfulness and Pause Techniques
Mindfulness meditation exercises can increase awareness of your impulses and strengthen the brain’s impulse-control center over time.
Even simple deep-breathing when you feel an urge can help. When you’re about to act on impulse, train yourself to pause and take a few deep breaths (“stop and breathe” is a great mantra).
This short-circuits the automatic rush to instant gratification.
Mindfulness also helps with emotional regulation – instead of immediately seeking a snack or screen to cope with boredom or stress, you learn to observe the feeling and let it pass. Over time, this builds your mental “muscle” for waiting.
Get an Accountability Partner or Coach
You don’t have to do this alone. Involve someone else to help keep you on track. This could be a friend or family member who checks in on your progress (“Did you stick to your plan this week?”) or who physically sits with you while you work (body doubling).
Knowing someone will follow up can create an immediate sense of responsibility that makes it easier to delay gratification.
Additionally, working with a therapist or ADHD coach can provide personalized strategies and moral support.
They can help you troubleshoot which techniques work best for you. Don’t hesitate to seek professional help – even medication prescribed by a doctor can reduce impulsivity and give you a fair chance to practice these skills.
Try mixing and matching these strategies to see what resonates with you. Every person’s brain is different, so what works for one ADHDer might not work for another.
The goal is to create an environment and mindset where the future starts to feel more motivating and the present’s temptations are less overwhelming.
Even small improvements – like resisting one impulse today that you wouldn’t have last month – are wins to celebrate.
References
Einarsson, S. B., Sigurðsson, B. H., Kjartansdóttir, S. H., Magnússon, P., & Sigurðsson, J. F. (2024). Impulsive Buying and Deferment of Gratification Among Adults With ADHD. Clinical Psychology in Europe, 6(3), e9339. https://doi.org/10.32872/cpe.9339
