Identification with the aggressor is a defense mechanism where someone unconsciously adopts the characteristics of a perceived threat. This helps reduce anxiety by transforming from victim to mimic, offering a sense of control or power in a threatening situation.
It is a way of coping with fear or trauma by becoming more like the aggressor or even feeling positively toward them.
For example, a person in an abusive relationship may cope by identifying with their abuser, adopting their characteristics and behaviors. They might begin to believe they deserve the abuse or are responsible for it.
The mechanism involves a complete subordination to the aggressor, anticipating and fulfilling the aggressor’s desires, and essentially becoming the image the attacker expects.
This process often involves dissociation, where one detaches from their own experience, and introjection, where one internalizes aspects of the aggressor or the attack.
Identification with the aggressor can have long-term consequences, such as chronic hypervigilance, the perpetuation of aggression, and the erosion of one’s own sense of identity.
Theoretical Background
Hungarian psychoanalyst Sándor Ferenczi introduced the idea in 1933 in his Confusion of Tongues paper, observing how abused children in a state of trauma might enter a dissociative trance and automatically mimic their abuser.
Rather than a deliberate choice, the child’s personality splits under extreme fear, identifying with the aggressor’s desires and behaviors as a desperate form of self-protection.
There is a “confusion of tongues” – the child starts to speak the emotional “language” of the abuser, blurring the line between victim and perpetrator in the child’s mind.
The concept was later refined by Anna Freud in her seminal 1936 work, The Ego and the Mechanisms of Defence.
Anna Freud classified identification with the aggressor as a defense mechanism employed to protect the ego from terror and disorganization when threatened.
She noted that a child who feels powerless might cope by internalizing the aggressor’s characteristics.
This provides an illusion of strength or control: the threatened person transforms “from the threatened into the threat” by assuming the aggressor’s role.
Anna Freud saw this as an intermediate step in the development of the superego – essentially a glitch in normal moral development where the child’s psyche temporarily aligns with the bully or abuser as a way to avoid feeling helpless.
Crucially, this identification eases fear and anxiety in the moment, but it distorts reality. The individual convinces themselves that if they mirror the aggressor or appease them, the danger will lessen.
For example, Anna Freud described a five-year-old boy in therapy who feared punishment so intensely that he began pretending to be a fierce aggressor himself.
During sessions, this normally timid child would suddenly roar like a lion, brandish a stick or even knives, and attack objects, his mother, or his analyst – essentially impersonating the feared punisher.
By dramatizing the role of the aggressor, he was unconsciously trying to forestall the attacks he feared (in this case, anxieties about punishment for “forbidden” behaviors).
This vivid example shows how a young mind converts terror into action: by becoming the thing he fears, the child feels less vulnerable.
Function
As a defense mechanism, identification with the aggressor serves an anxiety-reducing function in threatening situations.
It can counteract feelings of helplessness or inferiority.
For instance, a child or adult might think (unconsciously), “If I become like the aggressor, they won’t hurt me,” or even “If I act like them, I regain some power.”
In the short term this strategy can indeed lessen fear. However, Anna Freud and later theorists warned that if this defense becomes habitual, it can be maladaptive.
The temporary relief it provides may lead the individual to internalize the aggressor’s values or behaviors long-term, warping their own identity or morality.
In psychoanalytic terms, the child’s superego (moral conscience) may partially freeze at this stage, incorporating the aggressor’s harshness.
This can result in the child later inflicting aggression on others or themselves, perpetuating a cycle of abuse.
In fact, identification with the aggressor is one explanation for why some victims later become perpetrators: the abused child grows up to imitate the abuser, having learned that role as a way to feel safe or powerful.
Notably, this defense is often unconscious – the person may not realize they have adopted the aggressor’s mindset.
Psychoanalyst H. P. Blum observed that trauma can lead to an automatic, unconscious identification with the aggressor, often accompanied by other trauma-related identifications (with the victim, rescuer, etc.).
These identifications can complicate one’s emotional recovery, as elements of the trauma live on in the survivor’s behavior and self-concept.
Examples
Identification with the aggressor has been observed in a variety of extreme situations throughout history. Below are key contexts and examples where this phenomenon manifests:
1. Hostage Situations and Stockholm Syndrome:
The clearest real-world illustration is Stockholm syndrome, a term coined after a 1973 bank robbery in Stockholm, Sweden.
In that incident, four hostages were held in a bank vault for six days and bonded emotionally with their captors.
Even after being freed, the hostages expressed sympathy and loyalty toward the bank robbers, refusing to testify against them.
The hostages had unconsciously identified with their aggressors, a reaction that turned their terror into feelings of connection and even protection.
A year later, in 1974, the famous Patty Hearst case provided another striking example. Patty Hearst, a 19-year-old American heiress, was kidnapped by a militant group (the Symbionese Liberation Army).
After enduring months of threats, confinement, and abuse, she shockingly began to identify with her captors – she took on a new name (“Tanya”), adopted their revolutionary ideology, and even assisted them in an armed bank robbery.
Hearst’s identification was so complete that she appeared to switch sides, her fear transformed into a sense of belonging with the aggressors.
These hostage cases illustrate how trauma bonding can occur: the captive, utterly dependent on the captor for survival, tries to win mercy by empathizing with the captor.
Law enforcement later used terms like “hostage-captor effect” or Stockholm syndrome to describe this paradoxical loyalty.
In essence, the victim’s mind resolves the unbearable tension of captivity by assuming the perspective that it’s safer to join the aggressor than to oppose them.
2. War and Child Soldiers:
In war-torn settings, especially involving children, identification with the aggressor has been documented as a survival strategy.
One harrowing example comes from the experiences of child soldiers. Many children abducted by armed groups (for instance, by the Lord’s Resistance Army in Uganda) have been forced to commit atrocities.
Over time, some begin to internalize the values and behavior of their captors.
The children started adopting their abusers’ views and attitudes and even blaming other victims for the violence, mirroring their captors’ justifications.
In other words, these children identified with the aggressors to cope with their own victimization, eventually seeing the world through the aggressors’ eyes.
This shifting sense of identity, from innocent child to hardened fighter, can be understood as a way to survive extreme brutality: by embracing the role of the aggressor, the child dulls their own pain and fear.
Similar patterns were noted in conflicts like Northern Ireland’s “Troubles,” where initially coerced youth internalized the ideology of paramilitary groups over time.
In wartime prison camps or oppressive regimes, some prisoners have also survived by aligning with captors or even overseeing fellow prisoners (e.g., the infamous kapo system in concentration camps).
While morally complex, these behaviors reflect identification with the aggressor under duress – a tragic adaptation to an environment where kindness is scarce and aggression is rewarded.
3. Domestic Abuse and Trauma Bonding:
Identification with the aggressor is also seen in abusive relationships, such as domestic violence or child abuse cases.
Victims may form an emotional bond with their abuser or start to mirror the abuser’s behavior. This is sometimes called trauma bonding in the context of intimate partner violence.
Psychiatrists note that intimate partner violence victims often develop strong bonds with their perpetrators as a way to survive ongoing abuse.
For example, a person trapped in a violent relationship might begin to rationalize or defend the abuser’s actions, adopting the abuser’s viewpoint (e.g., believing “I provoked them” or “they’re doing this because they had a hard childhood”).
This cognitive shift is a form of identifying with the aggressor – the victim aligns with the aggressor’s justification rather than seeing themselves as an innocent victim, because blaming or hating the abuser while still dependent on them is psychologically intolerable.
In some cases, the victim may even emulate the abuser’s behaviors. A classic scenario is a child who is abused at home then turns into a bully at school, projecting the aggression they’ve absorbed.
In domestic violence a victim might become exquisitely attuned to the abuser’s moods and needs, essentially “becoming precisely what the attacker expects” in order to appease them.
The survivor analyzes the abuser’s facial expressions, tone of voice, and routines to preempt the next outburst. This hyper-vigilant, accommodating behavior is a direct manifestation of identification with the aggressor – the victim’s own desires and feelings are suppressed in favor of the aggressor’s.
Over time, the victim may lose sight of their own identity and come to accept the aggressor’s reality. In extreme cases, a formerly passive victim might pick up the aggressor’s “tools.”
For instance, someone terrorized by gun violence might later carry a weapon themselves, essentially imitating the aggressor’s methods under the belief that this will prevent further victimization.
Unfortunately, such adaptations can normalize or justify the original abuse (“I have to be cruel to survive in a cruel world”), perpetuating cycles of violence.
This is often observed in generational abuse cycles: the abused child grows up to abuse their own children, having unconsciously identified with the original aggressor.
Not all victims respond this way – many do not go on to harm others – but the internalization of the abuser’s influence is a well-documented risk.
Applications In Psychotherapy
In psychotherapy, recognizing this pattern in clients is crucial for trauma recovery.
Treatment focuses on helping individuals reclaim their own agency and identity, which often means confronting and letting go of the aggressor part within.
Both clinical anecdotes and research studies affirm that while identification with the aggressor may offer short-term respite from fear, its lingering presence can impede healing.
With careful therapeutic work, however, survivors can transform this identification: they move from being echoing victims (or perpetrators-in-training) back to being themselves, free from the oppressor’s shadow.
In doing so, they not only heal personal wounds but also help interrupt the transmission of trauma and violence to others
1. Recognizing the Internalized Aggressor:
The first step in therapy is identification of the identification.
Helping the client and therapist become aware of any ways the client has unconsciously taken on the traits, beliefs, or attitudes of those who hurt them.
Many clients initially don’t realize that some of their harsh behaviors or self-critical thoughts are not truly theirs, but echoes of a past abuser.
In the therapeutic setting, clinicians often encounter clients who display habits or worldviews that are not inherently their own but have been adapted from [aggressive] figures of authority.
For example, a survivor of childhood abuse might speak with a voice of intense self-blame or anger that actually mimics their abusive parent’s voice.
Recognizing these internalized voices or behaviors is pivotal – it externalizes the problem (“this is the abuser’s influence speaking through you, not your core self”) and reduces self-blame.
Therapists are trained to look for signs of this defense mechanism: a notable one is when clients empathize with or defend the perpetrator (“It wasn’t really my father’s fault, I was a difficult kid”), or when they enact aggression in therapy that seems linked to past victimization.
By gently pointing out these patterns, the therapist helps the individual separate their own identity from that of the aggressor introject.
2. Creating a Safe Therapeutic Relationship:
A strong, trusting therapeutic alliance is essential, especially because the client may be re-enacting relational patterns learned from an abuser.
Some clients may unconsciously identify the therapist with the past aggressor (transference), or conversely, play the aggressor role themselves.
Ferenczi noted that patients can even replay identification with the aggressor within the therapy relationship, sometimes testing or even attacking the therapist as they themselves were attacked.
An attuned therapist responds with consistent empathy and boundaries, demonstrating a different kind of relationship than the client had with the aggressor.
Over time, this secure relationship allows the client to let go of the defensive identification. In practice, therapists often validate that the identification was an ingenious survival strategy at the time (“You did what you had to do to cope with terror”).
This non-judgmental stance reduces shame and fear about giving up the behavior.
Modern trauma therapy frameworks sometimes refer to the “fawn” response – a trauma reaction of people-pleasing or appeasing – which is essentially a variant of identification with the aggressor.
By naming it and understanding its origins, clients can start to see that these behaviors (e.g. appeasing an angry partner, or lashing out at others after one’s own trauma) were born from fear, not from a bad or “evil” part of themselves.
This insight is a powerful first step in change.
3. Processing the Trauma and Differentiating Identity:
Once identified, the therapeutic work involves processing the underlying trauma and reclaiming the client’s own identity from the grip of the aggressor’s influence.
Techniques vary by modality:
Psychodynamic and psychoanalytic therapies may explore the identification through the client’s narratives and dreams, gently confronting the internalized aggressor.
The therapist might help the client give voice to their own anger at the original abuser, which has often been redirected or stifled.
There is often grief work as well – mourning the loss of safety and the part of the self that was surrendered in order to survive.
As H. P. Blum noted, working through these identifications is crucial for trauma resolution: overcoming trauma involves untangling identifications with the aggressor, the helpless victim self, and even any rescuers.
By understanding these roles, the client can integrate their experience and no longer be controlled by any one fragment of it.
Cognitive-behavioral approaches address the distorted beliefs that stem from identification with the aggressor.
For instance, a survivor might believe “I must be cruel/strict or I’ll be vulnerable” or “It was my fault” – beliefs implanted by the aggressor’s actions.
In therapy, these are gently challenged and restructured.
The therapist might use techniques to help the client externalize the aggressor’s voice – for example, writing a letter to the abuser but not sending it, or role-playing a dialogue where the client, as an adult, confronts their abuser’s imagined presence and sets boundaries.
These exercises can empower the individual to reject the aggressor’s values and affirm their own. Over time, the goal is for the client to develop self-compassion and a stable sense of self that is no longer defined by the past oppression.
Trauma-focused therapies (like EMDR or Trauma-Focused CBT) likewise aim to neutralize the power of traumatic memories and the associated identifications.
By reprocessing the trauma in a safe environment, the need to identify with the aggressor diminishes. The client can learn that the trauma is over and that they are no longer that powerless child or captive who had to submit.
In group therapy settings (for example, groups for domestic violence survivors or former child soldiers), sharing experiences can also help break the isolation and confusion.
Survivors learn that their seemingly paradoxical feelings (such as loyalty to an abuser) are a known psychological response, not a personal flaw. This reduces self-judgment and opens the door to change.
4. Reversing the Cycle:
A critical part of therapy is helping individuals who have internalized their oppressors’ behavior to unlearn those patterns.
For instance, a parent who was abused as a child and now finds themselves reacting harshly toward their own children can, in therapy, recognize this pattern as an iteration of their past.
The therapist works with them to develop alternative coping mechanisms and parenting strategies that do not repeat the abuse.
Essentially, therapy provides a space to practice new ways of relating that contrast with the aggressor’s way. Boundaries, empathy, and personal agency are emphasized.
Over time, many clients are able to reclaim traits that were suppressed – such as their tenderness, independent thinking, or trust in others – and let go of the aggressor-derived traits that were never truly “them.”
Successful therapy often results in the individual no longer identifying with the aggressor, but instead identifying as a survivor who has overcome an external threat.
In other words, the person’s self-narrative shifts from “I must be like them to survive” to “I was never like them – what happened to me was not my fault, and I am free to be myself now.”
Sources
Blum, H. P. (2003). Psychic trauma and traumatic object loss. Journal of the American Psychoanalytic Association, 51(2), 415-432.
Ferenczi S. Confusion of tongues between adults and the child (1933). In: Balint M, ed. Final contributions to the problems and methods of psycho-analysis. London: Hogarth; 1955. pp. 156–67.
Ferenczi, S. (1988). Confusion of tongues between adults and the child: The language of tenderness and of passion. Contemporary psychoanalysis, 24(2), 196-206.
Frankel, J. (2002). Exploring Ferenczi’s concept of identification with the aggressor: Its role in trauma, everyday life, and the therapeutic relationship. Psychoanalytic Dialogues, 12(1), 101-139.
Frankel, J. (2004, April). Identification with the aggressor and the ‘normal traumas’: Clinical implications. In International Forum of Psychoanalysis (Vol. 13, No. 1-2, pp. 78-83). Taylor & Francis Group.
Freud, A. (1937). The Ego and the mechanisms of defense, London: Hogarth Press and Institute of Psycho-Analysis.
