Avoidant Personality Disorder, or AvPD, is a mental health condition where people experience intense fear of rejection, criticism, or embarrassment. This leads them to avoid social situations, close relationships, or new activities, even if they want connection.

It’s not just shyness—it’s a pervasive pattern that affects work, relationships, and self-esteem, often starting in early adulthood. Treatment can include therapy, self-help strategies, and sometimes medication.

This article is for informational and educational purposes only and is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician, therapist, or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical or mental health condition. Never disregard professional advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this site.

Key Takeaways

Core features – AvPD is a long-term pattern of avoiding social contact due to fear of criticism, rejection, or embarrassment, often linked to low self-esteem.
Different from social anxiety – Social anxiety is usually situational; AvPD affects most areas of life, including relationships and work.
Possible causes – May involve genetic traits like high sensitivity and early experiences of rejection or neglect, though not everyone with these develops AvPD.
Diagnosis – Only a qualified professional can diagnose AvPD using interviews, questionnaires, and DSM-5 criteria.
Management – Therapy, self-help strategies, and sometimes medication for related symptoms can support coping and confidence.

Understanding Avoidant Personality Disorder

People with AVPD may desire social interaction but often avoid it due to their intense fear of being rejected or negatively judged by others.

This fear can cause them to withdraw from relationships and social situations, leading to feelings of loneliness and isolation.

People with AVPD experience extreme social awkwardness, spend a lot of time ruminating on their perceived shortcomings, and are hesitant to form relationships with others where rejection could occur.

Signs of avoidant personality disorder

Avoidant Personality Disorder (AvPD) can look different from person to person, but it typically involves a persistent pattern of avoiding social contact due to an intense fear of criticism, rejection, or embarrassment.

These fears are often linked to deep feelings of inadequacy and low self-worth, and they can range from mild to severe.

Common signs include:

Feeling socially inadequate or inferior
Intense fear of criticism or rejection
Extreme shyness and social withdrawal
Avoiding new relationships unless certain of acceptance
Overanalyzing others for approval or disapproval
Low self-esteem and lack of assertiveness
Avoiding situations where failure or ridicule is possible

Is AvPD a form of shyness or introversion?

AvPD is more than shyness or introversion.

While many people experience occasional shyness or worry about judgment, AvPD affects nearly all areas of life, including work, friendships, and daily activities.

In social situations, someone with AvPD may stay silent, avoid eye contact, or decline invitations altogether to prevent embarrassment or rejection.

How is AvPD different from social anxiety disorder?

AvPD is often confused with social anxiety disorder (SAD). Both involve fear of judgment, but SAD usually centers on specific situations, while AvPD is broader and more pervasive, leading to avoidance of nearly all social interaction.

It’s also possible to have both conditions, so a professional diagnosis is essential for effective treatment.

A person in the centre with hands covering face. signs of avoidant personality disorder surrounds them such as extreme social withdrawal, persistent feelings of inadequacy, and avoiding new relationships.

What Living With AvPD Can Feel Like

While lists of symptoms can describe Avoidant Personality Disorder (AvPD) in clinical terms, hearing directly from people who live with it can give a clearer picture of the day-to-day reality.

For some, avoidance can shape even ordinary moments. One person recalled:

“I skipped school on Valentine’s Day… I was convinced that no one would give me a valentine because I had no friends… the next day… I decided everyone hated me.”

This shows how quickly negative self-beliefs can take hold, often without any real evidence, reinforcing a cycle of withdrawal.

Triggers can be surprisingly small yet deeply uncomfortable:

“Being stared at, or even just someone giving me a passing glance… people waiting on me: grocery store lines, self-checkouts…”

Even brief or casual social contact can feel overwhelming, leading to avoidance of everyday situations.

Many describe an inner conflict between wanting closeness and fearing rejection:

“I crave love and affection, but my self-esteem is below my shoes and I don’t have the social skills required to bond romantically…”

These experiences highlight that AvPD isn’t just about shyness—it’s a constant push-and-pull between longing for connection and feeling too exposed or inadequate to reach for it.

Causes of Avoidant Personality Disorder

There is no single cause of Avoidant Personality Disorder (AvPD). Research suggests that a combination of genetic, environmental, and personality-related factors may contribute to its development.

What childhood experiences may contribute to AvPD?

Parental rejection and criticism

Many people with AvPD report early experiences of rejection, criticism, neglect, or emotional abuse from parents or peers.

These experiences can damage self-esteem, create feelings of unworthiness, and make it harder to see others as safe or supportive.

Harmful parenting patterns

Parenting styles that may increase risk include:

Low expressions of love or pride
Excessive shaming or guilt-inducing behavior
High intolerance or harsh criticism
Social isolation during childhood

Social mistrust and isolation

In some cases, these early experiences can foster mistrust toward others, which may unintentionally appear as arrogance or aloofness. This can lead to further isolation, reinforcing the avoidant cycle.

Still, not everyone with AvPD has a history of abuse or neglect, and not everyone who experiences such events will develop the disorder.

Is there a genetic component?

Family history

Genetics may play a role in AvPD. Having a close family member with the disorder, such as a parent, can increase the likelihood of developing it.

Inherited temperament

One possible inherited trait linked to AvPD is behavioral inhibition—a temperament marked by shyness, avoidance of new experiences, and heightened sensitivity to potential threats.

However, being a shy child does not guarantee the development of AvPD.

How do personality traits or temperament play a role?

Sensitivity and caution

Certain personality traits, such as high sensitivity, cautiousness, or a tendency toward anxiety, may make people more likely to avoid unfamiliar situations.

Long-term patterns

When these traits are combined with early rejection or criticism, avoidance behaviors can become deeply ingrained, contributing to the development of AvPD over time.

Diagnosis of Avoidant Personality Disorder

Avoidant Personality Disorder (AvPD) can only be diagnosed by a qualified mental health professional, such as a psychologist or psychiatrist.

While it shares some features with other conditions—like social anxiety disorder—diagnosis involves looking at the pattern, intensity, and impact of symptoms over time.

How professionals may assess AvPD

Structured interviews or questionnaires – These help gather detailed information about thoughts, feelings, and behaviors in social and work situations.
History-taking – Understanding when the symptoms began and how they have affected daily life, relationships, and self-esteem.
Comparing with diagnostic criteria – Mental health professionals often refer to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5), which lists specific traits and patterns associated with AvPD.
Ruling out other conditions – Some symptoms may overlap with anxiety disorders, depression, or other personality disorders, so part of the process is identifying whether AvPD best explains the experiences.

Why a thorough assessment matters

Because AvPD can overlap with other mental health conditions, an accurate diagnosis helps ensure that any therapy or support is tailored to the person’s needs. Even if someone doesn’t meet the full criteria for AvPD, they might still benefit from strategies to manage social fears or low self-esteem.

If you think you may have symptoms of AvPD or another mental health condition, it’s important to speak with a licensed mental health professional who can provide an assessment and discuss support options.

Treatment and Coping Strategies

While there is no single approach that works for everyone with Avoidant Personality Disorder (AvPD), some people find that therapy, certain medications, and self-help strategies can help them manage challenges and feel more confident in daily life.

It’s important to speak with a qualified mental health professional to find the approach that feels right for your needs.

What types of therapy might help?

Psychotherapy

Working with a therapist can offer a safe and supportive space to explore fears, challenge unhelpful beliefs, and try small steps toward building connections in work, school, or personal life.

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)

CBT often focuses on spotting unhelpful thought patterns, developing more balanced perspectives, and gradually facing situations that might otherwise be avoided.

Psychodynamic Therapy

This approach explores how early experiences and relationships may have shaped current patterns of thinking, feeling, and behaving.

Schema Therapy

Schema therapy blends elements of CBT and other approaches to address long-standing patterns. It may include exploring early life experiences, identifying unhelpful coping styles, and practicing healthier ways to meet emotional needs.

Group and Family Therapy

Group therapy can provide a safe space to practice social skills with others who have similar challenges.
Family therapy can help loved ones better understand AvPD and explore ways to offer support.

Are medications ever used?

Some people are prescribed medication to help with symptoms that can occur alongside AvPD, such as anxiety or depression.

Any decision about medication should be made in consultation with a qualified healthcare provider, often alongside therapy.

What self-help and lifestyle approaches might be useful?

Setting small, achievable social goals
Practicing gradual exposure to situations that feel intimidating
Journaling or self-reflection to notice and question negative self-talk
Mindfulness or relaxation techniques to reduce anxiety
Regular exercise or creative activities to boost mood and confidence

Living With AvPD

AvPD can bring challenges in relationships, work, and everyday interactions, but many people find ways to adapt, build confidence, and develop supportive connections over time.

How might relationships be managed?

Being open with trusted friends or partners about fears and boundaries
Starting with lower-pressure interactions before working up to more challenging ones
Practicing assertiveness to express needs respectfully
Seeking encouragement from people who are patient and understanding

Can social confidence improve over time?

Some people notice improvements when they combine self-help strategies, therapy, and consistent practice in safe environments.

Even small steps, repeated over time, can make social situations feel less overwhelming.

What kinds of support resources are available?

Therapists or counselors who have experience with AvPD or related challenges
Support groups, either online or in person, where people can share experiences and coping strategies
Educational materials for individuals and their families to better understand the condition
Family involvement in therapy (if possible) to create a more supportive home environment

Further Information

References

Lampe, L., & Malhi, G. S. (2018). Avoidant personality disorder: current insights. Psychology research and behavior management, 11,55-66

Rafaeli E, Bernstein DP, Young J (Editors). Schema Therapy: Distinctive Features. Routledge Taylor & Francis Group. 2011.

Reich, J. (2010). Avoidant personality disorder and its relationship to social phobia. Social Anxiety, 207-222.

Weinbrecht, A., Schulze, L., Boettcher, J., & Renneberg, B. (2016). Avoidant personality disorder: a current review. Current psychiatry reports, 18 (3), 1-8.

How to Spot Avoidant Personality Disorder