While extroverts are often seen as naturally outgoing and confident, it’s important to remember that anyone can experience social anxiety, regardless of their personality type.
Extroverts who experience social anxiety can go through the same physical and emotional symptoms as introverts. However, socially anxious extroverts face a unique challenge in that they typically feel energized by socializing, which can cause anxiety.
This can lead to significant distress for socially anxious extroverts who desire social interaction but fear it at the same time.
Frequently, individuals may think they are introverts, but they may actually be extroverts with social anxiety.
The easiest way to differentiate between an introvert and an extrovert with social anxiety is that introverts prefer being in their own company, whilst extroverts with social anxiety have a need for social interaction, but their anxiety gets in the way.
Introversion vs. Social Anxiety vs. Shyness
It’s common to confuse introversion, social anxiety, and shyness, but they are not the same thing. Understanding the differences can help you better identify what you (or someone else) might be experiencing.
Introversion
Introverts enjoy solitude and tend to feel drained by too much social interaction. They may prefer deep one-on-one conversations over large group settings—but they aren’t necessarily anxious about socializing.
Social Anxiety
This is a mental health condition where a person fears being judged, embarrassed, or negatively evaluated in social situations. Both introverts and extroverts can experience it.
Shyness
Shyness is a personality trait. Shy people may feel awkward or tense in new social situations, especially around strangers, but this doesn’t always rise to the level of anxiety or avoidance.
9 Signs of social anxiety in extroverts
Emotional Signs
These signs reflect how socially anxious extroverts often feel in or around social situations—torn between their need for connection and their emotional responses to it.
1. Feeling Judged by Others
Despite craving social interaction, extroverts with social anxiety often assume others are criticizing or disapproving of them, which can make socializing deeply uncomfortable.
2. Feeling Down When Not Being Social
Even though social events can be anxiety-inducing, avoiding them leads to feelings of sadness, loneliness, or detachment because the extrovert’s need for connection goes unmet.
“I like spending time with people… if I go a whole day without speaking to anyone face to face, I feel kind of sad and down.”
3. Fear of Being Left Out
They may experience intense FOMO (fear of missing out) and feel anxious when not included in events—even if they were unsure about attending in the first place.
Cognitive Signs
These relate to the inner thought patterns and mental habits that can fuel anxiety, particularly in extroverts who care deeply about how others perceive them.
4. Overthinking and Ruminating
Socially anxious extroverts tend to replay conversations and interactions in their head, worrying they said something wrong or weren’t “fun enough,” often long after the event is over.
“At the event itself, I will usually drive the conversations, ask most questions, tell stories to avoid the awkward silence. People often call me charming and very extroverted. The next day usually is full of overanalyzing, regrets, and shame. I always wish I had talked less.”
5. Wanting Everyone to Have a Good Time
They often place pressure on themselves to be the “life of the party” or ensure others are enjoying themselves, which can lead to anxiety if they perceive someone is unhappy.
Behavioral Signs
These are the observable ways social anxiety might influence an extrovert’s actions, including avoidance, compensation, or reliance on others.
6. Being Shy in Social Settings
Though energized by people, socially anxious extroverts may still appear shy or awkward. They might feel insecure or hyperaware of how they come across.
7. Canceling Social Plans
They might enthusiastically make plans but cancel at the last minute due to rising anxiety. Impromptu invites can also trigger avoidance if there’s no time to mentally prepare.
8. Avoiding Going Places Alone
They may rely on a “safe person” to accompany them to social events, avoiding solo outings due to fear of judgment or discomfort being seen alone.
“I can never go to a restaurant, movie, or social event by myself… I feel so lonely in my own company, I’ve like I live in parallels.”
9. Feeling Overwhelmed in Social Situations
Even when they push themselves to engage, the internal tension between wanting and fearing social contact can result in exhaustion or emotional overload.
Why This Happens: How Social Anxiety Can Develop in Extroverts
While extroverts are known for being outgoing and energized by social interaction, that doesn’t make them immune to social anxiety. In fact, certain extroverted traits may increase vulnerability.
Many extroverts place a high value on social approval and connection. When this desire is paired with perfectionism or a fear of rejection, it can create intense pressure to perform socially—leading to anxiety.
They may feel like they constantly need to be entertaining, likable, or upbeat, which can be exhausting.
Life experiences also play a role. Extroverts who were bullied, criticized, or excluded in the past may develop anxious patterns around socializing, even if they still crave it.
Situational stressors—like moving to a new city, experiencing a social “failure,” or prolonged isolation during events like the COVID-19 pandemic—can also trigger or worsen symptoms.
In short, extroverts aren’t anxious because they dislike socializing—they’re anxious because they care deeply about how they’re received, and that emotional investment can sometimes become overwhelming.
Managing Social Anxiety When You Are Extroverted
Below are some ways in which an extrovert with social anxiety can manage. You will notice that a lot of the same methods are advisable to anyone who has social anxiety, whether they are extroverted or not.
Communicate your feelings
Without expressing the anxiety, your friends will likely be unaware of it. Letting those you trust know about your social anxiety can help them understand, and they can help you navigate tough moments.
Be open to negotiating in order to figure out a level of social intensity that works for the whole group. That way, expectations are clear, and you do not get to a point where you are too overwhelmed by anxiety.
For example, if you are feeling especially anxious right before meeting a group of friends, reach out to your trusted friend and explain how you are feeling.
You could arrange to meet 1:1 with them before the group arrives or agree to leave together by a certain time – discuss a way that can help make the situation easier without avoiding the event completely.
Adjust your expectations
You may have to accept that there may be some awkwardness in every social situation that cannot be controlled.
It makes sense to pick and choose the group settings where you thrive instead of trying to do it all and finding yourself anxious or frustrated in those settings.
However, this does not mean you shouldn’t try to push yourself because the more you avoid social situations, the more you are feeding into the vicious cycle of anxiety.
Before social events, set expectations with the group about your capacity so you don’t overextend yourself. For example, “I tend to feel overwhelmed in large crowds, so I may slip away for quiet breaks.”
Recognize the limits of your control
It is important to accept that you have limited control over the experiences of others. At a social event, there may always be someone who is not having a good time, but it is not your responsibility to make them have a good time.
It could be that the person is in a bad mood that day or is experiencing some issues external to the social event that you cannot control.
Even if someone leaves a social event feeling like they had a bad time, this does not mean that you personally are to blame for this.
Manage unhelpful thoughts
Social anxiety is known for distorting your thoughts, usually making thoughts unhelpful (e.g., “Nobody wants me here”).
To deal with these thoughts, you first need to notice them and challenge them with an alternative thought that is more useful and closer to the truth (e.g., “My anxiety is making me feel like nobody wants me here, but I have no concrete evidence that this thought is the truth. I was invited here for a reason.”)
Another example: “I am talking too much. I am being annoying.”
A more constructive thought: “I do not find other people annoying when they talk a lot, so why would I assume this about myself?”
As you practice identifying your anxious thoughts, you will find it easier to restructure them into healthier thoughts with time.
Take small steps
If you desire social interaction but fear it simultaneously, be strategic about which social activities you participate in.
Begin by pushing your comfort zone with lower-risk social situations, like going to a relaxed lunch with a few close friends versus a huge party. This way, you get the socialization you need without the fear of such intense negative judgment.
Smaller groups also mean there are fewer people to focus on if your anxiety can stem from worrying about everyone else having a good time.
Be mindful
Being mindful involves purposefully paying attention to the present moment with openness and curiosity. Rather than worrying about an upcoming event or rehashing past interactions, mindful awareness anchors you in what is happening right now.
For extroverts prone to “what-if” thinking patterns related to social anxiety, mindfulness can be extremely centering. To become more mindful in social situations, engage your senses fully by noticing textures, sounds, colors, and even tastes vividly.
For example, at a dinner party, consciously savor each bite of food, listening to the chime of silverware as you chew slowly. When someone approaches to chat, intentionally direct your attention to the hue of their clothing or the inflection of their voice instead of judging your response.
Being mindful takes patience but offers big rewards for anxious extroverts needing an anchor. By continually guiding your focus sensation by sensation, you give nervous energy less room to take over.
Seek therapeutic help
If you find that social anxiety is getting worse or it is significantly interfering with your daily functioning, you can consider getting help from a therapist or other mental health professional who specializes in treating social anxiety disorder.
A popular therapeutic approach is cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), which helps identify unhelpful thought patterns and behaviors.
Once identified, these thoughts and behaviors can be challenged to produce healthier, more realistic thinking and behavior.
Exposure therapy is a technique of CBT that involves gradually putting yourself in stressful situations and learning to overcome them. A common theme with anxiety is to avoid stressful situations altogether.
While this may bring short-term relief, it can cause more anxiety in the long term.
Gradually exposing yourself to what makes you anxious can help break this anxiety cycle and realize that the situations are not as catastrophic as you may make them out to be.
Do you need mental health support?
USA
If you or a loved one are struggling with symptoms of an anxiety disorder, contact the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) National Helpline for information on support and treatment facilities in your area.
1-800-662-4357
UK
Contact the Samaritans for support and assistance from a trained counselor: https://www.samaritans.org/; email jo@samaritans.org.
Available 24 hours a day, 365 days a year (this number is FREE to call):
116-123
Rethink Mental Illness: rethink.org
0300 5000 927
References
Cabello, R., & Fernandez-Berrocal, P. (2015). Under which conditions can introverts achieve happiness? Mediation and moderation effects of the quality of social relationships and emotion regulation ability on happiness. PeerJ, 3, e1300.
Centre for Clinical Interventions. (n.d.). Module 6: Detective work and disputation. Back from the Bluez. Centre for Clinical Interventions. Retrieved from: https://www.cci.health.wa.gov.au/-/media/CCI/Consumer-Modules/Back-from-The-Bluez/Back-from-the-Bluez—06—Detective-Work-and-Disputation.pdf
Centre for Clinical Interventions. (n.d.). The vicious cycle of anxiety. Retrieved from http://www.cci.health.wa.gov.au
Spinhoven, P., Elzinga, B. M., van Hemert, A. M., de Rooij, M., & Penninx, B. W. (2014). A longitudinal study of facets of extraversion in depression and social anxiety. Personality and Individual Differences, 71, 39-44.
Vahratian A, Blumberg S, Terlizzi E, & Schiller J. (2021) Symptoms of Anxiety or Depressive Disorder and Use of Mental Health Care Among Adults During the COVID-19 Pandemic — United States, August 2020–February 2021. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. https://www.cdc.gov/mmwr/volumes/70/wr/mm7013e2.htm
